Sunday, 22 July 2012

A Deleted Scene From The Dark Knight Rises.

Although I'm about to spend a few hundred words making fun of it I thought The Dark Knight Rises was incredible. I was so impressed in fact that I broke into director Christopher Nolan's house and found this deleted scene that never made it into the finished film for some reason

Warning: Contains mild spoilers for the film so if you haven't seen it yet then what the fuck is your problem!? Do you hate joy or something?

Scene 75: Interior Sewer. Selina Kyle leads Batman to Bane's lair in the tunnels beneath Gotham but it's a trap. As Bruce walks out onto the catwalk a gate slams shut behind him, sealing him in. As he looks for an escape route he's confronted with the hulking, enigmatic Bane.

Bane: We meet at last....Mr. Wayne.
Batman: What do you want in Goth....Hang on! what the hell is up with your voice?
Bane: What?
Batman: You sound like Sean Connery after a stroke. I thought you were supposed to be from the South America or something?
Bane: My place of birth is irrelevant all that matters is that the League of Shadows fulfills it's destiny...
Batman: Seriously, you sound ridiculous.
Selina: Hah! look who's talking!
Batman: Oh don't you start!
Selina: Your Bat-voice sounds like you tried to fellate a cordless drill.
Batman: It's intimidating!
Selina: You're a an armoured techno-ninja with explosives, throwing knives and a fucking tank! I think the scary voice is overkill.
Bane: She's right you know it is quite mmmghgh mmmbbbhhh mmmpppf.
Selina: For Christ's sake Bane! You know nobody understands half the shit you say right? You guys sound like you're having a ridiculous accent competition.
Suddenly Officer John Blake enters the sewer.
Blake: Bruce! Are you ok? We got a report that you were seen coming down here so I...
Batman: Oh for fuck's sake!
Blake: What?
Batman: Fuck off Levitt! This is my scene! You're already have more screen time than me and it's my god-damn movie!
Coming July 2012: Some Guy You've Never Heard of Before Rises

Blake: Can we make this fast? After this I've got to shoot 3 scenes outlining my dark past as an orphan and then another one where I discover what Bane is planning to do with the explosives.
Batman: This is bullshit! Before you were cast your character was called "Unnamed Police Officer #7".
Blake: You're just angry because your not Nolan's favourite actor any more.
Batman: All you Inception dickheads are hogging the best scenes!
Selina: I know what you mean. I'm fucking Catwoman and I have to share the love interest role with Marion Cotillard.
Batman: It's like Nolan doesn't love us any more.
Blake: Don't be silly! It's not like he shoehorned any of the other actors from Inception into this.
Cillian Murphy looks guilty and tries to hide behind a pillar

If you'd like to read more deleted scenes then why not check out
A Deleted Scene from the Avengers.

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